Natalie Berthold is a family constellation therapist (FCT). Family constellation is a technique to find hidden dynamics in a family or a relation that might be a cause of distress in one’s life. Natalie tells about her business in the podcast, what it is like and how she got in this business.
As a family constellation therapist, what is it like to have a family?
It has armed her with many resources and helped her become a better mother and a wife. She is working on family dynamics and solving unresolved issues. She feels it's a blessing and a curse sometimes. It helps her prioritize and eliminate patterns that might have been passed down.
What are family dynamics and patterns? How do you heal unresolved traumas?
Initially, when Natalie would talk about her work in interviews, there was not enough scientific data to back it up. But now there has been so much study on epigenetics and now it has been scientifically proven that the things that happen to our great-grandparents, grandparents, and parents get down to the generations and gets put in our DNA particularly things like trauma or something that is unresolved. Natalie offers therapy that helps to sort out and allocate at every level the stuff that has been passed down to you from your ancestors. A good way to identify that you are inhabiting in past patterns is to look at areas where you are really stuck and you have tried every method to break through but you have not been successful. It probably did not start with you and you are trying to heal with the context of your life which is hard.
How did you develop an eating disorder and how does it relate to your FCT work?
There is a concept in family constellation therapy which is called the orders of love. It is a generalization of how certain dynamics can contribute to certain patterns. As a professional, Natalie knows that each family is unique and different. The struggle to eat healthily can greatly vary from person to person. Natalie shares her own story of how she developed an eating disorder that was triggered by family dynamics and experiences she had. An important factor that led to her disorder was the murder of her aunt, whose body was never found, the culprit never apprehended. There was this huge irreconcilable energy in the family system and Natalie herself was connected with this incident.
Can you speak a little about ‘The Orders of Love’?
‘The Orders of Love’ is a very important component in Family Constellation Therapy. Bert Hellinger, a priest from Germany who was trying to spread Catholicism in Zulu tribe in South Africa gave the concept of the orders of love. He tried to convert the Zulu tribe in South Africa to Catholicism, and the more he tried to convert them, work with them and learn about them, he realized they were way happier than other people. So, he took a pause and started to find the reason of their happiness. As a result, he developed a therapy which talks about a family system where love can both be disrupted and flow again.
How do you work with someone who does not know his or her family history?
A lot of us know a lot less about our family than we think we do. Every family has many secrets and stories. There are many truths and there are many things, which are not true. She kind of gets into a place where there is something the client does know. If you don’t know much about your family history, you can always work on it because it means there is a lot of hidden stuff. You just need to acknowledge that there is a lot of secrets that you can work with.
How did you get into family constellation therapy?
Natalie was totally guided into it. She was a teacher in Argentina and that was a completely different job. She had a debilitating eating disorder back then and had tried everything to deal with it. Natalie had an eating disorder for almost 15 years that nearly took her life. She was teaching in Argentina when she had her first session of Family Constellation Therapy. She found the cure of 15-year battle with bulimia in just one session and that is what compelled her to study this work and then later practice this therapy in New York City.
What does living your purpose mean to you?
Living their purpose is different for every person. Natalie thinks it changes based on your era of time that you are in. Before her daughter was born, living her purpose meant doing more of her work, spending more time in family constellation therapy. Her purpose was mostly career oriented. Now it is more about giving time to her daughter, prioritizing her needs.
What is the best advice you have ever been given?
The best advice she has been given is to follow her heart, and that is what she has done in her business and family.
How can we connect with you?
You can connect with her through her website. Her website’s URL is