Alyssa Hall is a life coach for mom’s. She’s a single mom to her 4-year-old daughter. A couple of years ago her life was a complete mess - every part of her life felt hard; her job, her relationships, and taking care of her self. She didn’t know how much more she could take —so she took a risk. She signed up for the coach training program at iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching). She knew it wasn’t a good time, but that there would also never be a “perfect” time. She knew she couldn’t afford it. But also knew she was tired of being unhappy. So, she stepped into her fears of the unknown seeking a career change and left with a completely different life. Alyssa was able to see firsthand how changing herself can affect every single person in your life. When she completed the program, she had a mission. She needed to help mom’s overcome what I went through; all the overwhelm, guilt, frustration, communicating with her daughter's father, and more. She knew she wasn’t the only one who experienced life this way and was grateful to coaching tools early in her parenting journey.
Segment Time Stamps/ Episode Highlights:
- 00:00 Discussed the biggest shift that happened when she became a mother.
- Initially, she thought nothing was going to change because she wasn’t a busy person. Eventually, she realized that everything she was doing was being seen and reflected and that being a parent was beyond babysitting.
- 03:46 Discussed how she managed guilt.
- Alyssa realized that her child mirrors her actions. She takes mental notes to observe her behavior and shifts it to be more conscious of her actions.
- 06:40 An important lesson she learned was to try not to take parenting so seriously. “Realize that we won’t be perfect at it.”
- 08:50 Did her perspective of her parents changed once she became a mother?
- Yes, and she hates to admit it. She understands her mother as a parent, especially as a single parent.
- 10:59 Did having a child change her relationship with her mom?
- It did, it made her be diligent about setting boundaries. She also started to make herself a priority.
- What’s her experience with mom guilt and how does she manage it?
- The most type of guilt she experienced was spousal guilt. She felt like she needed to be the perfect spouse, she didn’t want to burden her partner with the baby for too long.
- 20:03 Does she see similar challenges in other moms she coaches?
- She sees two different types of mothers. One type of mother is unhappy because she forgot what made her happy as a person because she is so consumed with parenting. The other type of mother knows what would make her happy but the guilt of being away from her family stops her from pursuing it.
- 21:54 How and when did she start her business while being a single mom?
- Her daughter was about a year old; she heard about coaching and knew that this was something she wanted to do. For an entire year, all she could think about was coaching while she did misc. jobs. She eventually signed up for the program and committed to it despite never thinking about having her own business prior to this. Day 3 of the program she broke up with her partner and her commitment became even more serious because she had more of a financial burden. But she knew she couldn’t go back to doing what she was doing. “It’s easier to work for someone else than it is to work for yourself and push yourself.” Daily, she reminds herself why she is coaching.
- 25:35 What happened just before she made the switch to the program.
- She was in a “perfect” yet toxic job where she worked 4, 10-hour days a week. Simultaneously she was studying to be a therapist. She took a year off to coach. Between her job, and her relationship she was at a breaking point that caused her to make a shift.
- 28:00 What did she learn in those two days that showed her she could do it?
- The beginning felt like an intervention. She thought she was going to just learn how to be a coach but the start of the program was about digging deep and learning how she was showing up in the world. How her actions lead her to the results that were currently occurring.
- 29:01 What did she do to realize how she was showing up in the world?
- The thing that they taught them was how to communicate with people. And how to communicate in a curious nonjudgmental way. Since she isn’t a mean-spirited person it was hard for her to accept those truths.)
- 35:46 What’s an important value you want to teach your daughter and how do you plan to teach it?
- She wants her to really have confidence. So, she works on it daily and tries to lead by example.
- 38:00 How does she deal with her body post-baby.
- She was never happy with her body ever. When she was pregnant, she was happy because she had a reason to have a belly. She is currently building up that confidence again. She started to buy clothes that fit, and follow body positive models on social media.
- 45:00 What’s the best advice she’s been given?
- Doing the things that you want to do and not holding yourself back.
“Children are a mirror, every action that I’m doing is being seen and reflected.”
“Finagle the bagel. Which means finesse everything so you can still get everything you want done.”
“It’s important to do what makes you happy not what people think you should be doing.”
“Remind yourself who you are at your core and fit that into your life… like a constant refresher.”
“It’s easier to work for someone else than it is to work for yourself and push yourself.”