My guest today is Margot Machol Bisnow. She is the author of Raising an Entrepreneur: 10 Rules for Nurturing Risk Takers, Problem Solvers, and Change Makers. Reading this book has been an awesome experience for me because it’s such a nice blend of where I’m at being an entrepreneur and also having a one-and-a-half year old son. This book really resonated for me at this point in my life and I can’t wait to dive into this material here.
Story behind the book
Margot had no intention of writing a book. In 2008 her son Elliott started Summit Series which are conferences for young entrepreneurs. Through that Margot started meeting a lot of young entrepreneurs and hearing their stories. They all said they had a mom who believed in them. This stuck with Margot and she told her kids, who encouraged her to write a book.
Many parents fear their kids won’t make money if they follow their passion and many adults have the same fear. If you are doing something you love you are going to be better at it because you are going to work harder. You will be more successful than if you end up doing something you don’t love and just go through the motions.
There are several stories in the book about parents who had kids with quirky passions. The parent’s friends ridiculed them for letting their kids pursue those passions, but those kids are hugely successful today.
Let go and relax and trust the process and don’t force people to do things they don’t love. People today would rather make less money doing something they love than to make more money sitting in some windowless office doing something they hate and waiting until they retire. Parents are well meaning but they need to stop being so practical and let their kids follow their passion.
Finding your purpose
Everyone needs someone who believes in them. Some people are strong enough to believe in themselves without outside support but for most people it takes somebody (parent, grandparent, uncle, mentor, teacher, etc) to say “you have talent, you should go for that.”
Often what happens is people get interested in something so they examine it closely and realize something is missing. There is some way it could be done differently or modified and that’s how they end up with an idea for a business.
Margo was not an entrepreneur. She spent twenty years in the government, mostly in political positions involving international development. She was setting up economic think tanks in Eastern Europe in the 90’s and things like that. For the last eight years she has done an online daily social newsletter about life in Washington D.C. What she is doing now is a totally different experience for her.
The process of how people become entrepreneurs varies all over the map:
Is this personality and mindset something you can teach?
You can’t make someone an entrepreneur. Most of the people in the book have siblings and most of their siblings are not entrepreneurs. A parent can’t force it on somebody. If you have that internal disposition then there are definitely things your family can do to give you the confidence and the courage to put it all on the line.
Lead by Following
There are a lot of articles that say things like “here’s how to make your kid an entrepreneur!” but they miss the whole point. You shouldn’t make your child anything. You should let your child be and see who your child is and listen to your child. Everybody is born with passions and strengths. So often these passions and strengths get squashed by the time they are in high school because these poor kids are trying so hard to please their parents and give their parents what they think their parents want. As a result who they are and what they love just gets buried.
Listen to your child and see what they love and then nurture and support it. Every child is different and has something they are good at.
When your child is six weeks old write down who you think they are. Go back and read it every five years and you will see that you nailed it. They come out who they are. You nurture that but they come out who they are.
My guest today is my mentor Mastin Kipp. He is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and peak performance coach.
The first time I saw Mastin was in 2009 while watching Oprah Winfrey’s life webcast. He was on there twice but the first time there was technical difficulties so he didn’t get to ask his question.
Before the show they sent him an Oprah Skype kit that came in a black box, told him he had to be somewhere with great internet, made sure his background and clothes were just right and gave him a list of questions that were going to be asked. A lot of anticipation went into a twenty-second moment. Then when Oprah asked “Mastin Kipp what’s your question?” and he started to talk it immediately cut away from him because of technical difficulties. He thought the world was over. But the producers called him and said they wanted to have him back on the next day and it worked out.
How Mastin went from couch surfing to being on Oprah:
When people ask Mastin how he did it he says he really doesn’t know, other than publishing and being consistent and focusing on serving people.
Being in “the zone”
The night before being on Oprah he and the people in his group did some yoga to get their mind right and calm. Then when he got there and the lights were on it’s like he went over here and something else came forward. It’s the same anytime he is speaking whether at seminars, retreats or coaching sessions. It’s an altered state that he has learned to trust. When you’re in that room with people and can follow that intuitive voice and let it speak through you you will serve the other people in the room.
Mastin avoids inflammatory foods and sugary substances. He makes sure his body is taken care of and he exercises before he goes on stage.
It’s something you have to practice. When Mastin was a music manager he was always focused on cultivating talent at the highest level. When they would work with “baby bands” (bands that are not known, aren’t on the radio, don’t have a following yet) there were certain things they would have them do and one of them was to play as many live shows as possible to get their live game down. In the music business you live or die by your touring capabilities.
When he decided to get into speaking he booked a bunch of gigs. In the last seven years he’s done around 500 events. At some point in 2014 he did around 35 shows in 37 days and about halfway through that tour he stopped caring about what the audience thought. He was so tired he just didn’t care anymore. What’s interesting is the response went up after that.
You have to practice because if you’re in your head you are thinking about what you have to say versus just trusting what’s going to come through.
Mastin’s biggest struggle
Mastin suffered for a long time with a fear of being seen. When he was a music manager he was hiding behind his clients. But at some point you have to own your name, go out and teach and be seen. That is something he put off for a long time. His other big struggle was with pre-diabetes.
Living your life purpose versus ego fantasy
You can have your ego’s version of your dream which is usually born from disconnection and insecurity and trying to overcompensate for those two things. You can get all the money and fame and not be fulfilled.
If you’re going to talk about living your life’s purpose it’s about two things.
2. Becoming aware of your emotional state
Purpose is not something you do, purpose is generating the feelings you want to feel inside yourself, connecting to a higher power and then with that sense of abundant emotional energy bringing those emotions into the world in the form of courses or books or a business or a relationship or whatever it might be.
A Course in Miracles says every comment either comes from love or a cry for help. If you have that perspective when you receive negative feedback it makes it easier to say this person must be in pain. Extract the truth, get rid of the projection, and move on.
It’s an amateur mindset to say “it’s easy for you because you’re there”. Anyone who is there has gone through a lot to get there. If you want to step out of the amateur mindset what you really want to say is “what did they do to get there?” Then make it a priority to model them and eventually you will produce the same results.
Thank you for joining us today.
Today’s guest is Susie Moore. Susie is an advisor to high growth start ups in Silicon Valley and New York City. She is also a business coach, life coach and author who specializes in advising and inspiring entrepreneurs on how to find their passion, find their side hustle and make an impact and a fortune. Her first book What If It Does Work Out? debuted as an Amazon best seller. In it she shares secrets to transform your passion into cash, pulling from her successful career as a Fortune 500 sales director. She also has helped build three different start ups, all of which were sold, the most recent being sold for $405 million. She has been featured on The Today Show, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, Forbes, Times Inc, Mind Body Green and a host of other media outlets and is the resident life coach for Greatest. Susie’s insights have been shared by fact leaders including Ariana Huffington and Spanx founder Sarah Blakely.
Principal behind side hustle
Originally Susie thought people would want to start side hustles to make more money. Initially that is what people were coming to her for in coaching. They were asking how to make money doing things on the side, how to launch, get started, come up with an idea. But increasingly she saw people who were taking her courses and reaching out to her who wanted to contribute in a meaningful way. Don’t be boxed in and cornered. Find that side hustle not just financially but be creative and learn something completely on your own time. We want to have that self expression, we want to have the fulfillment and in our jobs we might not be getting that and we want to fill that need ourself and then in turn make money. Money is often something that keeps people stuck in their quote unquote day job.
It’s a very difficult decision to leave your job and start your own business. Susie had a career in Ad sales for over a decade which she enjoyed but she knew it wasn’t her life’s work. She didn’t make a cold leap but created her business over time. When she started attracting clients on a consistent basis and making money she knew it could be viable. Eventually she got to the point financially where she could take a risk but it was still very scary.
Everyone has fear but we manage it differently. Fear comes in everyone’s life so it’s important to remember that everyone feels the same. It’s normal so give yourself a break when you feel afraid. Susie has a trick she uses where she will reflect on her past achievements when she needs that boost of feeling like she can do it and it’s going to go well. Remember to be present. At the end of the day we’re all just passing through life. We’re all going to die so don’t take everything so seriously.
Asking for help
A lot of people think asking for help is not a very empowered thing to do but it’s actually an empowered thing to do. Sometimes we get scared and have pride and think we should already know that. We also don’t want to bother people. There’s a lot of reasons we don’t ask for help. We feel ashamed and we feel guilty but asking is such a common quality in successful people
Best advice you’ve been given
You don’t have to do what your parents did or what your peer group does. It’s okay to think in proportion to the dreams you have. What do you want?
Today I have a very special guest. She is the author of multiple books including The Gift of Adult ADD. I read this book initially about seven years ago after it was recommended by a therapist because I was struggling with ADD and it was one of those books you read and say “she’s talking about me”. It had a profound impact on my view of myself and how I was approaching my life.
Flexible thinking means there can be pitfalls but there are also gifts. This is something we can use in every area of our life even if it’s not ADHD in the sense of this is a challenge but how can I find some benefits to it? If I have a weakness how can I have some flexible thinking about that?
You can recognize your weaknesses and make some progress in improving them without being defined by them. Are you going to be defined by your weaknesses or by your strengths?
Symptoms of Adult ADD
Turning it into a gift
The number one choice you can make is to define yourself by what’s working and also to find a match. A child might get in trouble because he wants to talk all day and be active. What if that kid decided he wanted to be a physical therapist? A physical therapist moves all day and talks all day. So it’s about helping people to find the path for them and broaden their idea of the kinds of jobs that will match who they are.
The formula for success is to find that place where you are different from others. There are a lot of places where ADD fits well and you need to find those places.
Turn your mess into your message
If you’re trying to figure out where your contribution is to the world and you say “what the heck is wrong with me” that is the place you make the contribution. We think of a mess as something unsettling but you have to stop being afraid of being unsettled.
It’s so easy to spend our lives doing things that are worthless to ourselves. Those messes can be like a tracking method to find out where your heart is, where things will be easier and not harder for you. Once you identify that you can stay on track with that.
When you are a child your parents are 100% responsible for messing you up but you are 100% responsible for what comes next. A lot of kids need to hear that. They want to be validated and blame their parents and that’s fine. But even if that’s true what happens tomorrow is 100% your choice. You can do it on your own but psychotherapy or coaching are tools that change people’s lives. Small changes can make big differences over time.
Common misconceptions about ADD and ADHD
Connecting with Lara
Today’s guest is Vasavi Kumar. She is often described as your kick in the pants guide in route to your desired destination. She’s a licensed social worker, special education teacher and certified coach. Vasavi holds dual masters degrees in special education from Hofstra University and social work from Columbia University. She’s a pro at attracting media and works with her clients to create and go after opportunities that align with their brand values. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, is a regular on NBC’s Kansas City Live as the keeping it real guru and was on VH1’s basketball wives where she coached one of the main stars of the show. She truly believes that with impeccable character, work ethic and unwavering values you can do, be and have anything you want. In today’s episode we explore being bold and loving yourself.
Before Vasavi was bold and no BS she was very much not bold. She got to where she is today because it became intolerable at some point to be afraid to be bold. As she got older she started stepping into her own stuff, being who she wants to be and finding her own voice. Being fake and fluffy and having to manipulate her words in order for people to like her didn’t feel right anymore. She had to make a choice. Did she care more about being liked or did she care more about being herself and not having to juggle multiple personas?
Around the time Vasavi graduated from Columbia University in 2010 she found out about the coaching industry. She had been in therapy since the age of 12 and was going to school to become a therapist so she knew both sides. She loved the approach the coaching industry took to help people move forward in their lives. So right after graduating she signed up for a coaching certification program, became certified and within that year they encouraged them to start their own businesses. She started her business in August 2010 and since then has really immersed herself into what it means to run a business. You can listen to podcasts and read books but you have to start to implement what you have learned. Vasavi would sign up for stuff and immediately put it into action.
If you were to ask Vasavi why she cares and why she wants to do this the short answer would be because she can. She’s able to so why wouldn’t she? She’s able to give back in this way and to help others because she can, because she wants to and because she has to. She lives with a sense of urgency that she doesn’t want to die not having used all that she was given.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
In terms of business the first piece of advice is adopt an immigrant mentality which means do more than is expected of you. Don’t do bare minimum and half ass things. Have a higher standard for yourself and don’t settle for the mediocre.
Personally at the end of the day you need to be able to look in the mirror and like your reflection. Like the person who is looking back at you. Peaceful sleep is important. Don’t go to sleep having things on your mind, feeling anxious about things or feeling guilty or resentful. Whatever you need to do in life to make sure that when you look in the mirror you like your reflection and you can go to sleep peacefully, do that.
What are you most grateful for?
My own resilience. Resilience is a muscle you exercise; it’s not something you’re born with.
What is the reason for bringing this podcast to life? 0:46
To share with you people that have helped and inspired me along the way, so that you can learn from them as well. To make it easier for you to be overcome those obstacles that will come your way, by providing you with information, insight, tools and practical strategies to really overcome those dips, so that you can have more peace. And that you can grow and achieve bigger and bigger heights in your life.
How did Anna get started on her life journey has been a coach and having her own business and finding her life's purpose? 1:00
Key advice on what you should know from an early age, when you're just starting out. 6:56
What challenges made Anna decide that she wanted to become a coach and have her own business? 7:41
After 6 months of working at a music and marketing entertainment company. She went in and asked for a raise and they told her to come back and check within a couple of week. But instead of a raise, she got fired in the next couple of weeks. So then and there she identified what she wanted to do, which was to become a coach and have her own business. She had 10 jobs in 6 years.
What is the best way to learn something? 9:27
Model somebody who has already done it and is also ahead of you
What were the step taken to start her online business? 10:06
How can these steps help you to start your online business? 10:30
Grow your audience before you have a service or product to offer.
What are some of the mistakes that people make when they want to start their own business? 10:38
What does Anna encourage you do as you are on your path through life? 10:47
1. If there is something you want to do the best thing you can do it start
2. Don't wait until you are good enough or smart enough
How starting her own business changed her life completely? 12:44
What is the essential part of living a life with purpose? 13:42
1. The inner purpose 13:47
2. Outer purpose 14:03
What is the formula to finding your life purpose? 14:12
Empowering advice you need to know. 14:56
It is so important to start before you're ready. Wherever you are in your business or on the path. If you haven't started yet or if you are taking your business to the next level. listen to that whisper and take some small immediate action today towards what you really want in your heart.
Why is it important to attach a purpose to a goal? 15:28
A purpose driven goal is way more meaningful and helps you break through those difficult times and those tough starts. When you have that purpose it allows you to propel you through the resistance because there will be resistance.
What is [your name] purpose in life? 15:46
Her purpose is help you create an amazing life and business for yourself. So you can make money doing what you love and sharing your greatest gifts with the world.
What happens when you live in alignment with your purpose and own your worth? 15:56
When you live in alignment with your purpose and own your worth, you create freedom for yourself and other people feel that. When you shine your light other people feel that and it creates as ripple effect. I would love for you to wake up in the morning excited and happy. Excited about work, excited about your life, excited about what you can give on this planet.