Caroline Zwickson is a women’s health coach and specifically helps women on issues related to pregnancy. Caroline shares her story of how she came to USA from Germany at the age of 16 and why she decided to stay in USA. We ask how she thinks her life changed by staying in USA and how it led to her becoming a women’s life and fertility coach.
When she was 16, she came to USA as a part of an exchange program. Caroline was an exchange student and was to study for one year in USA. It was difficult for Caroline to make this transition of going from a small town in Germany to a city in USA. She had to adjust to this lifestyle. The way people communicated, the way they made friends, everything was different, so it was a difficult adjustment for Caroline.
What made her stay in USA?
There were various reasons involved in her decision to stay in USA. In Germany, an individual goes to high school for 13 years, in USA it is 12 years. Caroline saw this as an opportunity to complete her high school one year earlier if she would stay in USA. She knew she could cut out one year by not going back and so she stayed. She also felt American educational system was better than German educational system because it allowed her to think openly, share her ideas and opinions. Another thing that had an influence was sports. She felt like sports for girls was actually cherished in USA unlike Germany.
How did she choose this path?
After graduating from Boston College with a major in International studies and minor in health studies, Caroline felt like she should be more involved with study related to human health and body. Her father was a doctor, her mother was a doctor and this was one fact that heavily influenced her decision to start studying medical studies in University of Columbia, New York. Caroline’s health deteriorated over the course of next few months, she went back to Germany, was operated for two herniated discs and that is when she realized medical studies was not meant for her. She ended up getting her masters in counselling psychology.
Caroline’s own struggle with hormonal health, her period and fertility.
Caroline was 29 when she first felt this resistance of using that birth control pill she had been using for year which was supposed to save her from getting pregnant unwantedly. She decided not to consume the pill and see how her body would react. Surprisingly nothing happened, her period was nowhere in sight. She was advised by her OBGYN to go back on birth control. Caroline did not like the idea and for the first time in 15 years started looking for natural and holistic ways to bring her body back into balance and support it in re-learning what every female body naturally wants to do and is designed to do: have a regular period and be fertile. Caroline spent the next two years searching and trying out different things including nutrition and lifestyle changes as well as learning how to chart her cycle to get back into a somewhat regular menstrual rhythm. This is when she got pregnant, just a few days after her wedding.
How does she help other women?
Caroline says she understand the worries, fears, and frustrations when it comes to hormonal balancing and the desire for children. From her own work as a life coach, Caroline has further observed how stress, denial of your own powers and passions, and lifestyle choices can take their toll on women's hormonal health. She says knowing firsthand how sensitive and complex our reproductive system is and functions, she began to educate herself in women's holistic and hormonal health and how to approach the mind-body system naturally. She know first-hand that this is an ever-growing concern in ever-younger women and she is committed to helping women solve this "scary" issue with confidence and calmness. You can find more about how she works and helps by visiting her website. The URL for website is at the bottom of show notes.
What are Caroline’s views on birth control pills?
Caroline says she personally would not be using birth control pills anymore. She thinks it does not perfectly go with her body. The affects these pills have on your body cannot be ignored. Nevertheless, Caroline says the effects of such pills vary from person to person and have actually helped women a lot to take charge of that part of their life they were not able to take charge before. She advises women to make sure they have enough knowledge about the pills before they start using them and how the pills interact with the body. You should also look for signs from your body and figure out if the pills suits your body.
How we can connect with Caroline?
Website contains blog posts that you can read. It also has a free workbook that can be used for women who are thinking of becoming pregnant in the next couple of years.
The key to positive transformation lies in realization of our own feelings. We have to be curious and willing to know what exactly is going in our hearts. We have to be more open at our heart. How often it is that we disagree with somebody’s opinion and close up our hearts, draw our opinions about that person without giving a second thought. This only results in disconnection however all humans, at the core of their heart, want love and connection.
This podcast is about feeling our feelings and learning to respond instead of react. It can be challenging when we find ourselves in situations where we see things differently than others. What we need to think about is where are these negative feelings coming from? It seems like the feelings are coming from the outside but the reality is, all these thoughts and feelings come from the inside. These feelings are a complete reflection of what and how we think in a certain situation.
Every time we are carried away with negative emotion, we can investigate what we are thinking which makes us feel in a certain way. We are all imperfect, we cannot be happy all the time; we cannot be perfect all the time. Negativity gets in the way but what is important is to stick with your feelings, be there, and know the reason for a particular feeling in a particular situation that is something very important. If we stick with our feelings and
Whenever we disagree with someone, find ourselves in uncomfortable situations, we should stick to our feelings, befriend our feelings because if we can befriend our feelings we can change them into something good for ourselves and bring about positive transformation.
Jordana Jaffe shares her journey of how she was able to convert a Facebook group into a very large online community. Jordana has been an entrepreneur for almost 10 years and in that time, she says she has almost chosen everything. She was once a professional organizer then chose to be a business coach after which she stumbled upon life coaching.
Jordana recalls how she started her Facebook group and that it was unplanned. She says Facebook groups chose her and not the other way around. She started her Facebook group in October 2014 and saw it a way to build a community. Jordana describes herself as a “compulsive community creator”. She says she previously tried to do the same offline and ultimately felt a bit of a burnout. Jordana describes herself as an introvert and that was the only reason why she could not be successful in creating a community while offline. Facebook groups feature has enabled Jordana to do what she really loves without having to deal with her introversion. She felt like she was meant to do this and loved how she could connect with people sitting at her home, doing some other task concurrently and giving everyone including herself a platform to interact. Jordana says she never had any strategy of managing her Facebook group. It was something she loved and always enjoyed posting and interacting with other people. When Facebook groups became a norm in 2015 and almost everyone was either creating a group or becoming a part of it, naturally many new users joined Jordana’s group as well. She did not get overwhelmed by the ever-increasing users in her group, in fact enjoyed the experience.
How she manages the group
Since the group has grown into a very large community and it is almost impossible for a single person to manage the group, Jordana has an assistant along with whom she manages the group. They make sure every activity in the group is according to the rules. They also make sure everyone gets their questions answered in the group. The group has almost 11,000 members now and Jordana believes what is most important for her is to make sure everyone feels like they are a part of this group and are engaged in the group one way or another.
We talk about Jordana’s journey as an entrepreneur and how for so many people it could have been overwhelming after trying out many things and not finding what they feel like they are meant to do. She says she has yet to find an entrepreneur who has had a same journey like her, moving from one profession to another and not losing hope and determination.
Message for people starting a Facebook group
She says one should always have a good reason as to why they want to start a Facebook group. Many people do not give enough time to this question. Many people see other people doing this or hear it from a business/life coach and end up creating a Facebook group. More than often, these people find themselves in situations they are not prepared for. Jordana says different platforms like Facebook groups, webinars, twitter and instagram do no make you successful but the energy that you put in matters the most. The question you have to ask yourself is if Facebook groups is something, you really want to do. The question should always be “what lights you up the most?” and then go after it.
How much time she spent in the group
Back in 2014 when Jordana started the group, she spent a lot of time in her group. She says she was committed to responding to every single comment in her group. Back then, it was easy as there were not many people in her group. She would post 4 times a day, comment a lot and spent countless hours. Now in 2016, since the group has changed into something very different than what it used to be, Jordana says she does not really post every day but makes sure she checks the group every day.
You can connect with Jordana on internet in following ways
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/gdanamagicalbusiness/
Sue shares a very personal story in this podcast, which transformed her life into something she could have never imagined. Sue is the founder of I Forgive You Mobile App. She has also written a book titled “Unlocking true happiness.”
Sue’s life took a 180-degree turn in January 2012 when her father was brutally attacked in his home in a robbery. Her father went into coma and never fully recovered from the injuries he sustained from the attack. It took three months for her father to regain consciousness from coma but passed away a month later. Sue says she never really harbored any sort of anger for the person who did this to her father and forgiveness was something she opted for from first day. Sue recalls that moment when she went to the hospital for the first time to see her father and was surprised to see the injuries his father had sustained. She could not understand how one human could do this to another. She wondered what kind of pain that person would have been going through to commit such a horrendous act. It was also during this time Sue was able to forget all the past differences she had with her father and love him in that moment. Sue did not speak with her father for past five years and had only reconciled with him a month ago. She believes they were still in the beginning of re-building their father-daughter relation. Sue believes this tragedy helped her gain perspective in life and understand things differently in life.
How it shifted her perspective
Sue says she was overwhelmed by her thoughts because a lot was happening around her. She started writing down things and that led her to journaling. For weeks and for months, Sue kept on writing while sitting next to her father’s bedside in the hospital. She started writing all the disagreement she had with her father and talk to him about it. She learned more about herself, how a human brain works when we are emotionally unbalanced.
What forgiveness means to Sue?
Sue believes forgiveness is for one’s own self and not for others. Sue says forgiveness is “about finding a place at peace that you can go sleep at night and feel okay”. She also believes it is not about condoning the behavior of the person who did this but about gaining perspective on why he did it and forgiving the situation.
How Sue dealt with anger?
Sue started playing women’ football and says she found peace while doing something which demanded a lot of physical work and energy. She persists on gaining perspective in such situations. Sue believes most of the criminals commit crimes because of the way they are brought up and dealt within the society. During the trial, Sue found out that the man, who attacked her father, had been charged 168 times. He was 12 years old when he was charged for the first time and Sue believes the society failed this man as a young boy.
The story of ‘I forgive you’ Mobile App
One night Sue was out for dinner with some friends and had this particular thought in her mind. She felt like writing it in her journal but thought it would be inappropriate to write something in her journal while at a dinner table. Therefore, she took out her mobile phone and saved her notes in it. This was when she first encountered the idea of having an app, which could help someone maintain his or her journal. Her idea of having this particular app evolved with the passage of time and the finished app has five different areas in it. They are divided into following five categories:
You can write messages in the app like a journal, keep them to yourself or send them to a particular person. You can also submit the messages to the app and the app sends a response back. The app is available on iTunes and GoolgePlayStore. It is called ‘I Forgive You’ and it has a picture of swallow as its logo.
Sue has a message for all the people who are undergoing a trauma or struggling with forgiveness. She says one should not focus on forgiving but on what makes them happy. This is because on the path of happiness, forgiveness will come as a part of that journey.
You can connect with Sue on following social media platforms
Link for the mobile app is
For GooglePlayStore: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sue.iforgiveyou
My guest today is Gabrielle Bernstein. She is a motivational speaker, life coach and author. Bernstein has written three books. Bernstein has also worked as a public relations entrepreneur and founded the PR firm SparkPlug Communications as well as co-founding the Women’s Entrepreneurial Network, a non-profit professional organization that connects female entrepreneurs. In this episode, she talks about trusting your intuitive wisdom and receiving signs from the universe. She shares her story of searching for a new home, difficulties and doubts she faced in the process and how eventually it led her heightening her own intuition.
Gabrielle tells about that part of her life when she and her husband decided to buy their first home. Naturally it seemed like a very inspiring idea and they were very excited with what was about to come in their lives. Gabrielle lived in New York and when she started looking for her new home but soon realized hunting for homes in New York is not really a lot of fun. She believes she started this journey at the time when real estate prices were all time high. She along with her husband searched for various apartments in Brooklyn and Manhattan but all in vain. She felt offended and “this isn’t fun” become her husband’s mantra in reference to looking for a new home. Naturally, negativity stepped in and Gabrielle believes this was the first step which blocked her intuition. The trip to a particular house in Brooklyn was the last nail in the coffin for the couple. Gabrielle felt like it was the most haunted house she had ever walked into. It had that one particular glass case which was full of dolls and Gabrielle felt like they were all staring at her. She went back home and realized it was her negative energy which had completely blocked her intuition and put her life in jeopardy.
On her return home, there came a moment when Gabrielle’s inner voice said, “Do what you do best” so she did. She prayed and felt like all the negativity left instantly. Her husband still had this idea of buying their home in east coast and while he was still hoping to buy a house in New York, Gabrielle came up with this strange idea to look for country houses. She was able to convince her husband and then they stared looking for country houses on Internet. One thing led to another and out of nowhere, the couple found this beautiful mountain house in Connecticut. They set up their appointment and went to see the house. As they were driving up to the mountain, Gabrielle recalls her husband saying, “We are not going to have to look at anything else, I think this is the one.” Looking at the house, and exploring it was the first time in nine months Gabrielle had that feeling that she finally found her home.
Gabrielle and her husband both loved the mountain house. As she went back home, logic started kicking and Gabrielle was once again on path of blocking her self-intuition. She had these ideas that money they had saved must be spend on a proper home in a city rather than a mountain house. A home where she would have her kids go to school, a home, which should be in New York. At this point, she called her psychic friend and asked for guidance. Her friend had recently bought a new home and Gabrielle wanted to know what she did to buy her home. Her friend told Gabrielle that she asked for signs, that her sign was a dragonfly and that Gabrielle should do the same. For some reason, Gabrielle thought her sign was an owl.
The Owl Story
The next time Gabrielle went to the mountain house, she kept looking for owls everywhere. Ironically, the first thing she saw was a dragonfly on a gift card. On her way back home, she talked to her psychic friend and told her she could not find an owl. She told Gabrielle not to worry as she got a sign, a dragonfly that they talked about. Gabrielle went out from her car to get some tea and walk around. When she came back, she saw a massive bumper sticker and it had an owl on it. However, these signs were not enough for Gabrielle to empower her intuition. The couple did make an offer and Gabrielle was in London when her husband told her their offer had been accepted. However, she still was not sure if it was the right choice, her doubts and fears were still blocking her self-intuition. She asked for more signs from God. The same night, Gabrielle happened to go to this church in London, St. James Cathedral. There was a person at the church who would always give postcards to speakers, which had bears on it. That night he approached Gabrielle and gave her two cards. One had bear on it and before Gabrielle saw the other card; she knew it had the owl. It was her sign she asked for and she got it. However, even with these signs, Gabrielle was still in doubt and not achieved that height of self-intuition. However, on her return home Gabrielle realized she had been denying all the signs from the universe, she had been denying the synchronicity, she was denying her own faith, she was denying her own inner voice, that she was relying on fear and on other people. That realization led to the empowerment of her self-intuition for Gabrielle. She knew she had to buy the mountain house and she did it at last.
You can follow and contact Gabrielle Bernstein on following social media platforms.
Today’s guest is body-mind coach Laura Wieck. She is a licensed massage therapist, certified coach and mentor who is dedicated to helping massage therapists, body workers and holistic practitioners create thriving and abundant businesses. In today’s episode we explore the body-mind connection and learn how to listen to what your body is communicating with you so you can use that wisdom to make decisions to move you forward in your life.
Body-mind coaching is the combination of massage or body work with a structured coaching conversation to help clients and help people address the physical and emotional aspects of their stress so they can live more connected to themselves, more connected to their community and more connected in their own lives.
We need to ask ourselves “how can I improve?” instead of “what’s wrong with me?” or “why can’t I do this?” We need to reframe it and come from a curious place with a positive intention and then seek the answers to what we’re looking for.
How does stress on the body impact the mind?
Our society idolizes thinking, knowledge, wisdom and logic to the point where the brain controls everything. The way we’re actually wired with this body mind connection is that it goes both ways. One of the main nerves that go from the brain down into the body is called the vagus nerve. 20% of input goes from the brain down into the body but 80% of input goes from the body to the brain. There is more information coming up then there is going down.
Enteric nervous system
We have a second brain in our body called the enteric nervous system that rests on the base of our pelvic flood. It controls the digestive track but it is also constantly picking up environmental data running through our body as well as chemical reactions and sending that information up to the brain. When your body feels off it’s sending a message to your brain.
In our culture where we have to think things through and be logical, when things don’t go our way and our body is sending a signal to us that we need to adjust we tend to fight that. Then we are out of flow and feel disconnected and it’s like our body and mind are fighting each other. We’ve been raised to be logical and make logical decisions but somewhere on that list is a line that says “this just feels right”. That line is your body talking and it carries so much more weight than you can logically come up with. The second brain in our body that’s sending information to our brain is collecting more information than our conscience brain can compute.
When you have a gut feeling you can’t describe it’s because you don’t have the logical language associated with it. The gut feeling is more logical then anything your brain can come up with. Follow your gut instinct.
The feeling of purpose
Purpose is attached to the feeling of being free. There’s a freedom to it that’s very inspiring and elevated. It comes from the body first but it’s not just about positive affirmations and suddenly feeling perfect. You take it one step at a time. Find something that feels honest for you and make the shift from there. Your purpose is about feeling free to be you.
How to connect with Laura
For more information and show notes please go to annagoldstein.com/3. Thank you for listening and we’ll talk with you soon.
My guest today is Margot Machol Bisnow. She is the author of Raising an Entrepreneur: 10 Rules for Nurturing Risk Takers, Problem Solvers, and Change Makers. Reading this book has been an awesome experience for me because it’s such a nice blend of where I’m at being an entrepreneur and also having a one-and-a-half year old son. This book really resonated for me at this point in my life and I can’t wait to dive into this material here.
Story behind the book
Margot had no intention of writing a book. In 2008 her son Elliott started Summit Series which are conferences for young entrepreneurs. Through that Margot started meeting a lot of young entrepreneurs and hearing their stories. They all said they had a mom who believed in them. This stuck with Margot and she told her kids, who encouraged her to write a book.
Many parents fear their kids won’t make money if they follow their passion and many adults have the same fear. If you are doing something you love you are going to be better at it because you are going to work harder. You will be more successful than if you end up doing something you don’t love and just go through the motions.
There are several stories in the book about parents who had kids with quirky passions. The parent’s friends ridiculed them for letting their kids pursue those passions, but those kids are hugely successful today.
Let go and relax and trust the process and don’t force people to do things they don’t love. People today would rather make less money doing something they love than to make more money sitting in some windowless office doing something they hate and waiting until they retire. Parents are well meaning but they need to stop being so practical and let their kids follow their passion.
Finding your purpose
Everyone needs someone who believes in them. Some people are strong enough to believe in themselves without outside support but for most people it takes somebody (parent, grandparent, uncle, mentor, teacher, etc) to say “you have talent, you should go for that.”
Often what happens is people get interested in something so they examine it closely and realize something is missing. There is some way it could be done differently or modified and that’s how they end up with an idea for a business.
Margo was not an entrepreneur. She spent twenty years in the government, mostly in political positions involving international development. She was setting up economic think tanks in Eastern Europe in the 90’s and things like that. For the last eight years she has done an online daily social newsletter about life in Washington D.C. What she is doing now is a totally different experience for her.
The process of how people become entrepreneurs varies all over the map:
Is this personality and mindset something you can teach?
You can’t make someone an entrepreneur. Most of the people in the book have siblings and most of their siblings are not entrepreneurs. A parent can’t force it on somebody. If you have that internal disposition then there are definitely things your family can do to give you the confidence and the courage to put it all on the line.
Lead by Following
There are a lot of articles that say things like “here’s how to make your kid an entrepreneur!” but they miss the whole point. You shouldn’t make your child anything. You should let your child be and see who your child is and listen to your child. Everybody is born with passions and strengths. So often these passions and strengths get squashed by the time they are in high school because these poor kids are trying so hard to please their parents and give their parents what they think their parents want. As a result who they are and what they love just gets buried.
Listen to your child and see what they love and then nurture and support it. Every child is different and has something they are good at.
When your child is six weeks old write down who you think they are. Go back and read it every five years and you will see that you nailed it. They come out who they are. You nurture that but they come out who they are.
My guest today is my mentor Mastin Kipp. He is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and peak performance coach.
The first time I saw Mastin was in 2009 while watching Oprah Winfrey’s life webcast. He was on there twice but the first time there was technical difficulties so he didn’t get to ask his question.
Before the show they sent him an Oprah Skype kit that came in a black box, told him he had to be somewhere with great internet, made sure his background and clothes were just right and gave him a list of questions that were going to be asked. A lot of anticipation went into a twenty-second moment. Then when Oprah asked “Mastin Kipp what’s your question?” and he started to talk it immediately cut away from him because of technical difficulties. He thought the world was over. But the producers called him and said they wanted to have him back on the next day and it worked out.
How Mastin went from couch surfing to being on Oprah:
When people ask Mastin how he did it he says he really doesn’t know, other than publishing and being consistent and focusing on serving people.
Being in “the zone”
The night before being on Oprah he and the people in his group did some yoga to get their mind right and calm. Then when he got there and the lights were on it’s like he went over here and something else came forward. It’s the same anytime he is speaking whether at seminars, retreats or coaching sessions. It’s an altered state that he has learned to trust. When you’re in that room with people and can follow that intuitive voice and let it speak through you you will serve the other people in the room.
Mastin avoids inflammatory foods and sugary substances. He makes sure his body is taken care of and he exercises before he goes on stage.
It’s something you have to practice. When Mastin was a music manager he was always focused on cultivating talent at the highest level. When they would work with “baby bands” (bands that are not known, aren’t on the radio, don’t have a following yet) there were certain things they would have them do and one of them was to play as many live shows as possible to get their live game down. In the music business you live or die by your touring capabilities.
When he decided to get into speaking he booked a bunch of gigs. In the last seven years he’s done around 500 events. At some point in 2014 he did around 35 shows in 37 days and about halfway through that tour he stopped caring about what the audience thought. He was so tired he just didn’t care anymore. What’s interesting is the response went up after that.
You have to practice because if you’re in your head you are thinking about what you have to say versus just trusting what’s going to come through.
Mastin’s biggest struggle
Mastin suffered for a long time with a fear of being seen. When he was a music manager he was hiding behind his clients. But at some point you have to own your name, go out and teach and be seen. That is something he put off for a long time. His other big struggle was with pre-diabetes.
Living your life purpose versus ego fantasy
You can have your ego’s version of your dream which is usually born from disconnection and insecurity and trying to overcompensate for those two things. You can get all the money and fame and not be fulfilled.
If you’re going to talk about living your life’s purpose it’s about two things.
2. Becoming aware of your emotional state
Purpose is not something you do, purpose is generating the feelings you want to feel inside yourself, connecting to a higher power and then with that sense of abundant emotional energy bringing those emotions into the world in the form of courses or books or a business or a relationship or whatever it might be.
A Course in Miracles says every comment either comes from love or a cry for help. If you have that perspective when you receive negative feedback it makes it easier to say this person must be in pain. Extract the truth, get rid of the projection, and move on.
It’s an amateur mindset to say “it’s easy for you because you’re there”. Anyone who is there has gone through a lot to get there. If you want to step out of the amateur mindset what you really want to say is “what did they do to get there?” Then make it a priority to model them and eventually you will produce the same results.
Thank you for joining us today.
Today’s guest is Susie Moore. Susie is an advisor to high growth start ups in Silicon Valley and New York City. She is also a business coach, life coach and author who specializes in advising and inspiring entrepreneurs on how to find their passion, find their side hustle and make an impact and a fortune. Her first book What If It Does Work Out? debuted as an Amazon best seller. In it she shares secrets to transform your passion into cash, pulling from her successful career as a Fortune 500 sales director. She also has helped build three different start ups, all of which were sold, the most recent being sold for $405 million. She has been featured on The Today Show, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, Forbes, Times Inc, Mind Body Green and a host of other media outlets and is the resident life coach for Greatest. Susie’s insights have been shared by fact leaders including Ariana Huffington and Spanx founder Sarah Blakely.
Principal behind side hustle
Originally Susie thought people would want to start side hustles to make more money. Initially that is what people were coming to her for in coaching. They were asking how to make money doing things on the side, how to launch, get started, come up with an idea. But increasingly she saw people who were taking her courses and reaching out to her who wanted to contribute in a meaningful way. Don’t be boxed in and cornered. Find that side hustle not just financially but be creative and learn something completely on your own time. We want to have that self expression, we want to have the fulfillment and in our jobs we might not be getting that and we want to fill that need ourself and then in turn make money. Money is often something that keeps people stuck in their quote unquote day job.
It’s a very difficult decision to leave your job and start your own business. Susie had a career in Ad sales for over a decade which she enjoyed but she knew it wasn’t her life’s work. She didn’t make a cold leap but created her business over time. When she started attracting clients on a consistent basis and making money she knew it could be viable. Eventually she got to the point financially where she could take a risk but it was still very scary.
Everyone has fear but we manage it differently. Fear comes in everyone’s life so it’s important to remember that everyone feels the same. It’s normal so give yourself a break when you feel afraid. Susie has a trick she uses where she will reflect on her past achievements when she needs that boost of feeling like she can do it and it’s going to go well. Remember to be present. At the end of the day we’re all just passing through life. We’re all going to die so don’t take everything so seriously.
Asking for help
A lot of people think asking for help is not a very empowered thing to do but it’s actually an empowered thing to do. Sometimes we get scared and have pride and think we should already know that. We also don’t want to bother people. There’s a lot of reasons we don’t ask for help. We feel ashamed and we feel guilty but asking is such a common quality in successful people
Best advice you’ve been given
You don’t have to do what your parents did or what your peer group does. It’s okay to think in proportion to the dreams you have. What do you want?
Today I have a very special guest. She is the author of multiple books including The Gift of Adult ADD. I read this book initially about seven years ago after it was recommended by a therapist because I was struggling with ADD and it was one of those books you read and say “she’s talking about me”. It had a profound impact on my view of myself and how I was approaching my life.
Flexible thinking means there can be pitfalls but there are also gifts. This is something we can use in every area of our life even if it’s not ADHD in the sense of this is a challenge but how can I find some benefits to it? If I have a weakness how can I have some flexible thinking about that?
You can recognize your weaknesses and make some progress in improving them without being defined by them. Are you going to be defined by your weaknesses or by your strengths?
Symptoms of Adult ADD
Turning it into a gift
The number one choice you can make is to define yourself by what’s working and also to find a match. A child might get in trouble because he wants to talk all day and be active. What if that kid decided he wanted to be a physical therapist? A physical therapist moves all day and talks all day. So it’s about helping people to find the path for them and broaden their idea of the kinds of jobs that will match who they are.
The formula for success is to find that place where you are different from others. There are a lot of places where ADD fits well and you need to find those places.
Turn your mess into your message
If you’re trying to figure out where your contribution is to the world and you say “what the heck is wrong with me” that is the place you make the contribution. We think of a mess as something unsettling but you have to stop being afraid of being unsettled.
It’s so easy to spend our lives doing things that are worthless to ourselves. Those messes can be like a tracking method to find out where your heart is, where things will be easier and not harder for you. Once you identify that you can stay on track with that.
When you are a child your parents are 100% responsible for messing you up but you are 100% responsible for what comes next. A lot of kids need to hear that. They want to be validated and blame their parents and that’s fine. But even if that’s true what happens tomorrow is 100% your choice. You can do it on your own but psychotherapy or coaching are tools that change people’s lives. Small changes can make big differences over time.
Common misconceptions about ADD and ADHD
Connecting with Lara
Today’s guest is Vasavi Kumar. She is often described as your kick in the pants guide in route to your desired destination. She’s a licensed social worker, special education teacher and certified coach. Vasavi holds dual masters degrees in special education from Hofstra University and social work from Columbia University. She’s a pro at attracting media and works with her clients to create and go after opportunities that align with their brand values. She has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, is a regular on NBC’s Kansas City Live as the keeping it real guru and was on VH1’s basketball wives where she coached one of the main stars of the show. She truly believes that with impeccable character, work ethic and unwavering values you can do, be and have anything you want. In today’s episode we explore being bold and loving yourself.
Before Vasavi was bold and no BS she was very much not bold. She got to where she is today because it became intolerable at some point to be afraid to be bold. As she got older she started stepping into her own stuff, being who she wants to be and finding her own voice. Being fake and fluffy and having to manipulate her words in order for people to like her didn’t feel right anymore. She had to make a choice. Did she care more about being liked or did she care more about being herself and not having to juggle multiple personas?
Around the time Vasavi graduated from Columbia University in 2010 she found out about the coaching industry. She had been in therapy since the age of 12 and was going to school to become a therapist so she knew both sides. She loved the approach the coaching industry took to help people move forward in their lives. So right after graduating she signed up for a coaching certification program, became certified and within that year they encouraged them to start their own businesses. She started her business in August 2010 and since then has really immersed herself into what it means to run a business. You can listen to podcasts and read books but you have to start to implement what you have learned. Vasavi would sign up for stuff and immediately put it into action.
If you were to ask Vasavi why she cares and why she wants to do this the short answer would be because she can. She’s able to so why wouldn’t she? She’s able to give back in this way and to help others because she can, because she wants to and because she has to. She lives with a sense of urgency that she doesn’t want to die not having used all that she was given.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
In terms of business the first piece of advice is adopt an immigrant mentality which means do more than is expected of you. Don’t do bare minimum and half ass things. Have a higher standard for yourself and don’t settle for the mediocre.
Personally at the end of the day you need to be able to look in the mirror and like your reflection. Like the person who is looking back at you. Peaceful sleep is important. Don’t go to sleep having things on your mind, feeling anxious about things or feeling guilty or resentful. Whatever you need to do in life to make sure that when you look in the mirror you like your reflection and you can go to sleep peacefully, do that.
What are you most grateful for?
My own resilience. Resilience is a muscle you exercise; it’s not something you’re born with.
What is the reason for bringing this podcast to life? 0:46
To share with you people that have helped and inspired me along the way, so that you can learn from them as well. To make it easier for you to be overcome those obstacles that will come your way, by providing you with information, insight, tools and practical strategies to really overcome those dips, so that you can have more peace. And that you can grow and achieve bigger and bigger heights in your life.
How did Anna get started on her life journey has been a coach and having her own business and finding her life's purpose? 1:00
Key advice on what you should know from an early age, when you're just starting out. 6:56
What challenges made Anna decide that she wanted to become a coach and have her own business? 7:41
After 6 months of working at a music and marketing entertainment company. She went in and asked for a raise and they told her to come back and check within a couple of week. But instead of a raise, she got fired in the next couple of weeks. So then and there she identified what she wanted to do, which was to become a coach and have her own business. She had 10 jobs in 6 years.
What is the best way to learn something? 9:27
Model somebody who has already done it and is also ahead of you
What were the step taken to start her online business? 10:06
How can these steps help you to start your online business? 10:30
Grow your audience before you have a service or product to offer.
What are some of the mistakes that people make when they want to start their own business? 10:38
What does Anna encourage you do as you are on your path through life? 10:47
1. If there is something you want to do the best thing you can do it start
2. Don't wait until you are good enough or smart enough
How starting her own business changed her life completely? 12:44
What is the essential part of living a life with purpose? 13:42
1. The inner purpose 13:47
2. Outer purpose 14:03
What is the formula to finding your life purpose? 14:12
Empowering advice you need to know. 14:56
It is so important to start before you're ready. Wherever you are in your business or on the path. If you haven't started yet or if you are taking your business to the next level. listen to that whisper and take some small immediate action today towards what you really want in your heart.
Why is it important to attach a purpose to a goal? 15:28
A purpose driven goal is way more meaningful and helps you break through those difficult times and those tough starts. When you have that purpose it allows you to propel you through the resistance because there will be resistance.
What is [your name] purpose in life? 15:46
Her purpose is help you create an amazing life and business for yourself. So you can make money doing what you love and sharing your greatest gifts with the world.
What happens when you live in alignment with your purpose and own your worth? 15:56
When you live in alignment with your purpose and own your worth, you create freedom for yourself and other people feel that. When you shine your light other people feel that and it creates as ripple effect. I would love for you to wake up in the morning excited and happy. Excited about work, excited about your life, excited about what you can give on this planet.